Are You Addicted to Busyness?

Many of us are living incredibly jam-packed lives. We routinely burn the candle at both ends, and every waking moment is accounted for. If this sounds like you, chances are you feel staying so busy is admirable (or at least unavoidable). But when you’re perpetually busy, you’re missing out on life’s special moments.

“Life is breathtaking and magical when you take time to really notice and savor it, but you can’t do that when you’re flying through every moment at 90 miles per hour,” says Jill Palmquist, author of In This Lifetime. “Your ‘busyness badge’ not only wears you out, but it also robs you of the very experience of living.”

Here are reasons why we stay so busy:

• Busyness is a status symbol. We get a buzz from feeling busy, important, and admired.

• We think we must live this way. We learned from our parents or American culture in general that busyness is “normal.”

• We are fear-driven. If we slow down, we might fail at our goals or be left behind those around us.

• We feel guilt or shame when we are not productive. Our capitalist society pushes us to seek virtue by working ourselves into an early grave.

• It lets us avoid dealing with painful truths and feelings. If we wrap ourselves up with work and other obligations, then we don’t have to deal with things we’d rather not think about.

Need to break the busyness habit?

Here are a few tips:

Do a life audit. Set aside some time to think about all the areas of your life: work, family, friends, goals, romance, spirituality, health and wellness, hobbies and interests, relaxation, travel, etc. What do you value the most? What is missing? Where are you just enduring? Where are you squandering your precious time?

Cut what doesn’t align with your values or enhance your life. Often we endure things that drain our energy and resources because we believe there is no other option, but that isn’t true. It might mean taking drastic steps, like quitting an emotionally draining job or leaving behind an interest that you’ve outgrown or no longer prioritize.

Lean into the relationships that matter most. You have only so much time to devote to others, so make sure you’re not investing in low-quality relationships or letting toxic people suck up all your time. Reassess your social circle, or rearrange your schedule so you can spend more time with your child, parents, partner or cherished friend.

Get your dream on your calendar. Maybe it’s too late for you to become a Hollywood movie star (or maybe not!), but nothing can stop you from taking an acting class or joining a scene study group. Maybe you have fodder for a long-dreamed-of book languishing in the depths of your computer. Sign up for the class or block out your book-writing time on your schedule. If you don’t plan for it, it won’t happen.

Schedule time for rest and for fun. Everyone needs time to do things they love. Leisure time renews your spirit and brings a big dose of joy when you need it the most. Schedule downtime for you and your family. This might mean travel and vacations, but it also can include weekend picnics, weekly walks and catch-ups with your best friend, a long massage, or checking out a local attraction.

Jill Palmquist is Life Time vice president and chief storyteller and the author of In This Lifetime, a coffee table book that celebrates the beauty and reminds us of the brevity of the human experience.