How to be an Exceptional Bridesmaid 

by Kerri Cooke 

Your best friend just got engaged to the man of her dreams, and she has asked you to be one of her bridesmaids. The request is a great honor and a testament to the bond between the two of you. You jump at the request without thinking about the actual demands of the role. Before you say yes to being a bridesmaid or maid-of-honor, consider what the responsibilities of the role will be. 

Sara Lasher, of Sara Lasher Weddings & Events, says, “Before accepting the role of a bridesmaid, it’s vital to understand that what you are accepting is a commitment. It’s a commitment of your time, your finances, and your emotional support. If any of those commitments cannot be guaranteed, it’s completely acceptable to decline the role.” 

Financial Commitment 

Agreeing to be a bridesmaid not only comes with the cost of time and energy, but also a financial cost. Bridesmaid dresses are not cheap, and you should be aware that you could be shelling out a few hundred dollars to buy your wedding party dress. If you can’t afford the cost of being a bridesmaid, it’s best to politely decline the offer. 

Don’t Be Demanding 

Everyone has their own personal style. But even though you are the one who will be wearing the bridesmaid’s dress, the bride has the ultimate say on what you will wear. It is her day, after all. It is nice if your gown is something you will wear on future occasions, but don’t count on that. Be flexible and enjoy spending time with the bride. 

Early Alterations 

Make sure you schedule any needed alternations to your bridesmaid dress as early as possible. You don’t want to push this essential step to the last minute. It is your responsibility to make sure your dress fits you as well as possible. 

Planning Partner 

If the bride needs to brainstorm ideas, happily engage in helpful discourse. She will have so many things on her mind that she might not think of everything. Make a Pinterest board, save screenshots and volunteer ideas for anything she might need help on, even if it’s as simple as the types of flowers to put in floral arrangements. 

Emotional support 

Wedding planning is known to be stressful. You, as a bridesmaid, can help relieve some of the stress by listening to the bride when she needs a sounding board, extending encouragement and helping reassure her. 

Help Plan Pre-Wedding Events 

As an important member of the bridal party, get together with the other bridesmaids and the maid-of-honor to plan events, especially a bridal shower. A bachelorette party and even a spa day to help everyone relax may be considerations. However, Lasher says, “Brides are having destination bachelorette parties with airfare, lodging, and travel expenses attached. I don’t think being a bridesmaid should come with the expectation of investing that level of funds. If you can’t travel to that degree, be transparent from the beginning about what you can and can’t afford for the festivities.” 

Be Prepared on The Wedding Day 

First and foremost, be on time to get ready and help the bride get ready for the wedding ceremony. Make sure you carry around essentials all day, such as hair pins, lipstick, tissues and clothing pins. Be ready to adjust the bride’s dress, train, veil, etc. throughout the day. Make sure to always stay picture-ready. 

Have Fun 

When it’s reception time, help get the party started! Take snaps of guests having fun. Take a few turns around the dance floor. Make sure to get the bride anything she needs. Then be around to clean up after the party, if necessary.